OPS PILOTS NOTES
Step 1 Approach the aircraft with a reckless
devil-may-care attitude, especially at night as this
creates a
big impression with bystanders. Try not to trip over
the air and electrical lines as this does not create
a
big impression with bystanders.
Step 2 Ask the crew chief what day it is and
mark it down in grease pencil on the doorway. Then
ask
what time it is and mark that down also. Stow your
pencil in a convenient place for future use. (Note:
just
inside the intake duct is the most convenient, however
we seem to have been losing a great many pencils this
way).
Step 3 Pre-Flt. Conduct your pre-flight in
a rapid but deliberate manner and be sure to kick
vigorously at the
tyres for serviceability. When you come to a complicated
part of the aircraft, like a speed brake or tail fin,
stare at it seriously for several seconds before going
on. This creates a big impression with the crew chief.
Avoid shaking your head or clucking your tongue as
this bothers the crew chief and gives him ulcers (and
short hair).
Step 4 When you have finished the preflight
check to see that A/F' corresponds with itinerary then
proceed to
correct A/c and repeat steps 1 through 3.
Step 5 To enter the aircraft approach from
the left side and leap lightly (without looking) onto
the steps and run up
to the aircraft.
Step 6 Pick yourself up off the ground and
carefully push the steps up to the aircraft and start
again. (Note: make
sure the door is open) Try to control that tense feeling
in your guts as you climb, above all DON'T LOOK DOWN.
(This is the most difficult portion of the flight
and must be done with precision) Enter the cockpit
in any manner you
choose except that if at all possible you should avoid
entering feet fist and backwards.
Step 7 This is the disentangling step in which
the pilot endeavours to find which seat is his and
to sort out the
switches, dials,5, fuses (7 amp and 3 amp) radio leads,
straps, headgear, inflated life rafts/flot cots, gum
wrappers,
old issues of Playboy and any other loose items he
finds.
Step 8 Next check stick and throttle positions
If the stick is in your right hand and the throttle
in your left you' re in the
cabin backwards. Don' t panic, smile at the pax and
crew, wave to the tower and ground crew and bystanders
and
slowly rotate your body 180 degrees. Now arrange all
switches, levers and buttons in the cabin in an eye
catching and
pleasing manner and prepare to start the engines.
(IF THEY'RE INSTALLED)
Step 9 Upon starting the engines, advance the
throttles smartly to military power and standby for
the crew chief' s signals.
When he begins waving at you resist the temptation
to wave back. Rapidly rearrange the position of all
the switches,
levers and buttons until the right combination is
found whereupon the crew chief will finally stop waving
at you.
Step 10 When the signal is given to taxi, reverse
engines and back slowly up, then push the throttles
forward to max
power and roll smoothly over the chocks. Return the
throttles to min power and try to avoid further use
of max power
on the pan as this irritates the crew chiefs. |